Anonyme a dit: is it haram to have a boyfriend?
Yes you wanna know why? Because loving someone can break you really bad.. I mean you have your heart, and the heart is sooo foolish sometimes. You know the feeling of butterflies. The toy we got as a kid and we felt this happiness, seeing your mom smile, or just eating a pizza. Why do you think islam has prohibited sex outside of marriage? It’s not because “hey she is a slut now”. When we think of sex we dont wanna do it with anyone the first time. But the one we love, the one we cant imagine a life without.. You see we get hurt and fall into a pit fall with snakes and we become poets beacuse our heart is broken. And what is behind that? only our attachement to things and people who don’t last forever. You see it’s a protection for you. Because wallahi it is special to be with the one you know for sure you will spend the rest of your life with. The man who doesnt just message you “oh you so pretty”,”you’re not like other girls”, he better damn prove it , and he should be damn lucky that he could even look at you. You see its a protection.
Actually, love before marriage doesn’t exist. Yes, let that sink in. You think it’s love but it really isn’t. Because Allah isn’t present in that relationship, there is no place for Him. And there is no love without His. Only desire for the other. So love before marriage is only a lie! Yes you get all happy and you feel loved etc etc, but that’s just shaytan doing his job! Pre-marital relationships only last for a while, because it has no foundation, responsability or engagement in the significant other. Also, i’m sorry to jump into conclusions but it directly leads to zina (fornication). No matter how many “limits” are established, it is just a matter of time. In fact, the sweet words are the zina of the tongue, the sensual/lovely looks are the zina of the eyes, holding hands is the zina of the hands, so what should we think about that? Rasul Allah (sal Allahu alaihi wa sallam) said: “Whenever a non-mahram man and woman meet in seclusion, Shaytaan definitely is the third one joining them.” [Tirmidhi]
Here is the explanation of the hadith: what this hadith means is that Shaytan arouses their passions and incites them to commit evil. Prevention is better than cure. Fornication and adultery rip to shreds the psychological health of society. Since the family is the building block of society, for a society to be healthy, it must have healthy families that constitute it. To prevent any situation arising which might harm the family unit, Islam nips the source of problems in the bud. A person is responsible not only for himself or herself but for the spiritual, emotional, psychological and physical well being of their children as much as it is in their control. From their children will arise many more generations. Keeping this in mind we have to do our best to provide as healthy a moral environment as we can so we are not held responsible for the destruction of future generations. Go to that which has no forever. Only Allah is forever, and if you want to have something that will be with you forever in ahkirah, follow your deen first and the last thing should be falling into the trap of shaytan because Allah has the perfect plan for you and your spouse. In sha Allah.
May Allah protect us all from what He forbid. We hope that we answered your question, if there is anything else please ask again, we’ll be happy to answer in sha Allah. As salamu aleykoum wa rahmatullah