ladyislam a dit: Assalam aleykoum, The last photo with the grave made me wonder how did you get through the death of your dead brother (allah yerhamou)? May Allah give you strength you and your familly .
Insha’Allah and Ameen. Jazakhalakhair.
I hope you don’t mind me posting this publicly.
Surat Al-Baqarah: “Allah does not burden a soul beyond that it can bear…” (Qur’an, 2:286).
I implemented that same verse into my life, no matter what difficulty I go through and am still going through. Sometimes you just have to remind yourself that Allah knows best and with each difficulty come a great lesson in return; whether it is death, family issues, education, heartaches etc.
I’m not going to lie, but I was really, really depressed when it had happened. Even if someone had told me that verse, I still wouldn’t have taken it seriously at the time. For months I was secluded in my room crying every single day, walking through my life trying to remember each and every memorable moment I’ve had with my brother. Over time, I wish I were dead instead…and much further on, I wish I was dead in general. I believe I was suicidal for a good two months or so until I finally came into terms with everything.
One day I spent the entire day praying and begging/pleading to Allah for signs and answers. After that day I began to read the Qur’an a lot more with translation, and read so many hadiths. I came across things that made me scared and even wonder why I wished for death or wanted to die, only because that won’t end my problems permanently - it’ll just grow them, especially in the afterlife. If I truly loved my brother I would never do something so stupid to take that chance away.
I promise you, if it weren’t for my brother waiting for me in the afterlife, I would have ended my life a long time ago. I constantly tell myself that with each prayer could be the reason my brother and I (Insha’Allah) could make it to Jannah and meet each other - of course, family and others are included as well. Other than that, I really dislike a lot of things about this world. This world really does feel like a prison to me every single day. You don’t understand how much I hate it; I want to be free without pain of so many different things I feel every single day. I really want all of this to end so I can be happy once and for all.
dontfindmearishta you are so inspiring. May allah increase your iman.